Regret
by Danny vs A Month
Summary: Hinamori finally wakes up from the wounds suffered during the fight with Aizen. But Hitsugaya can't forgive himself. Maybe a little Christmas magic can help.
I do not own Bleach or any of the characters.

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Regret

Hitsugaya sat against the door, resting his hands in his face. It had been a little more than four months since Aizen's defeat, since Hitsugaya had stabbed the person he cared most about. It had been a little more than a week since she had woken up. He had not yet had the courage to face her since she had, except for the day she did.

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Hinamori's eyes slowly opened and looked around. For a moment, it seemed fine, until she saw Hitsugaya. Fear had appeared on her face instantly and she hurled herself out of the bed, ripping the sensors and IV off. Hitsugaya stood frozen as the others rushed to try to catch her. They didn't have to try hard because as Hinamori took her third step, her legs buckled. Hitsugaya took a step forward to help and Hinamori released a shriek of terror, scrambling away from them, away from him. Hitsugaya staggered back a step, shocked and hurt by her reaction. His eyes burned and itched. He knew he wouldn't be able to hide the tears and didn't want to be there when they fell.

Just as he began to turn away, the first tear fell, sliding down the cheek facing her. He forced himself to walk out the door, wiping his eyes once he was out of sight then Flash Stepped away, reaching the cave where he had been training for the last four months.

* * *

After that, he had not been able to go see her, even despite the urging of everyone around them. The others had explained to Hinamori why they had all turned on her when she went to help them stop Aizen, why Hitsugaya had stabbed her. They swore to him that she had forgiven him, but he had not forgiven himself, and had no idea how to apologize to her for what he had done. He was not able to see her until he did.

There had been instances, of course, when they had been in the same room but Hinamori always refused to look at him and left as fast as she could without so much as a word.

"Captain?" Rangiku's voice called, pulling him out of his thoughts. "Captain I know you're in there."

After a moment of Hitsugaya not responding, Rangiku sighed.

"Alright," Rangiku spoke. "I'll leave. But Captain...nevermind. I'll see you later."

Hitsugaya sighed and stood, turning to the door and opening it, expecting to find her still there. Instead, ahe was gone. On the ground was a piece of paper is a request for him to meet her in a forest clearing later. He closed the door and through the note away then got Hyorinmaru and left to do his job.

* * *

Hitsugaya walked into the clearing and stopped. There were several tables and chairs set up, a stereo, a dance floor, punch, and a massive pine tree with multi-colored lights and presents under it.

 _Christmas,_ Hitsugaya thought miserably.

It usually held a lot of joy for him, even though he tried to act mature. Usually he and Hinamori would spend the day together and would exchange gifts that night. That way the excitement about everyone else's presents would have faded a bit. Truthfully the tradition started because Hitsugaya Had forgotten to get her a present and had to find one the day of. But this year, he sincerely doubted she would want his present. Or that he'd be getting one. Especially since she refused to speak to him. Besides that she had been in a coma for months.

"Hey Captain!" Rangiku greeted, making her way over, a half-empty bottle of sake in her hand.

"Drunk as usual I see," Hitsugaya said flatly.

"I'll have you know this is only my second," Rangiku said incredilously before hickupping. "I think."

Hitsugaya rolled his eyes and made his way to a chair, sitting down, eyes already scanning the crowd. There she was, talking to Kira. Everyone had decided to simply wear their standard attire this year since no one was really feeling the Christmas mood. After a bit, the presents were all passed out. As usual, Hitsugaya's presents were a mix of humiliating and pointless. He got things like human toys that he believed Ichigo had called "action figures" to things like a frying pan to go with a microwave oven. As always, Rangiku got him a bottle of sake that she would drink herself inside of a week.

Hitsugaya had not gotten many presents this year. He had gotten Renji a new visor like the one that had been destroyed when he and Ichigo had fought the first time, had goven Rangiku back the alcohol stash he had confiscated, had gotten Yachiru toys and a camera, and had gotten candy for everyone else. Everyone was grateful, and understanding, and thanked him happily. Then, the party resumed. Hitsugaya walked to the punch bowl where someone was getting themself a cup. It took them nearly running into his chest to realize it was Hinamori.

"Oh, my apologies Captain," Hinamori said, eyes rooted to the ground as she stepped around him.

He watched her walk away, trying to think of something, anything, to say. But no words came. He reached out a trembling hand toward the cups but stopped, eyes burning again. He swore, hurrying away from the others to a smaller clearing and sitting down, tears sliding down his cheeks as he stared at the sky. After a few minutes, he heard a branch snap behind him but didn't move. It was probably Rangiku.

"Are you alright Captain?" Hinamori's voice asked.

He cringed at her finally using the word she had n3glected to for so long. His face fell, hiding his tears. She walked over and knelt behind him. He wasn't sure how but he felt her reach her hand toward his shoulder then stop. Her hand fell and both remained there, Hinamori thinking and Hitsugaya silently crying.

is it...too late to ask for a Christmas present?" Hinamori finally asked, voice quiet and shaky.

Hitsugaya shook his head, lifting it and wiping his eyes, hearing her sniff, realizing she was crying.

"I just want..." she begain, crying to hard to speak propperly.

He looked back at her, eyes wide as he saw hurt and guilt mixed on her tear-stained face.

"I just want...my Little Shiro back!" she choked out.

He stared at her in shock for a moment before pulling into a hug, breaking down himself.

"I'm so sorry," Hitsugaya apologized. "I should have known he was usuing his complete hypnosis. I should have protected you, not stabbed you! I should have apologized sooner!"

"I'm sorry I was afraid of you," Hinamori sobbed. "I didn't...mean to...hurt you. I'm sorry I haven't spoken to you since I woke up. I was so afraid you didn't want to see me anymore."

"Of course I do," Hitsugaya whispered, pushing her away, tucking some loose hair behind her ear. "Momo, you are the most important person in the world to me. I'm so sorry I wasn't able to protect you. I promise it won't happen again."

Hinamori leaned forward suddenly, kissing Hitsugaya before he could react. He kissed her back after a moment of surprise. After a moment, he pulled back and looked hee in the eye.

"How can you forgive me?" Hitsugaya asked. "I stabbed you."

"Because it was never your fault," Hinamor stated. "Aizen outsmarted us. That's all there is to it."

Hitsugaya smiled and kissed her again. As he did this time, he reached up, slipping a necklace around her neck. She pulled back and looked down at it, seeing it was a silver chain with a diamond snowflake pendant hanging beside a ruby fireball one. She stared at it then up at him and smiled, tears running out of her eyes again.

"I don't have anything to get you," she stated.

"You already gave me what I wanted most," Hitsugaya smiled. "Forgiveness."

Hinamori smiled, throwing her arms around him, knocking him onto his back then kissing him. They were so enjoying the moment, they failed to notice the others had finally found them.

THE END

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